As parent I constantly struggle with an urge to somehow show, emphasize and even prove (to myself, as well as the world) how my child is unique, different from the lot, very special... do you recognise the feeling? vicious cycle of the desire for them to be different, followed by dread that I expect too much, followed by the judgement that I am no better than the parents constantly judged by good Hindi films wanting their kids to become only doctors and engineers leading them to live lives of great wealth and no meaning? maybe its just me.... but I swear everytime i meet a child whose name I cannot pronounce my heart jumps with joy for finding a comrade...
Normally I behave well within the normality curve..., I enjoy her watching cartoons like Tom and Jerry without raising eyebrows about the violence within, Doremon despite its possibility of ruining her chances at awesome spoken Urdu and premature understanding of boy-girl relationship dynamics. I spoil her with a sugar treat pretty much everyday, still feed her with my hands and let her have a tablet... I am guilty of doing pretty much everything listed in the new guide to bad parenting for kids with super potential!
But frozen strikes a different chord. Its so out there, its so commercial that everytime my daughter picks something with Elsa or Anna on it I just cant help but shake my head at the power of market economy in influencing my 5 year old's choices in life. Everyone has Elsa shoes, and Anna dress and a pencil with frozen characters and a nightdress with Olaf and this and that and having to listen to "let it go all" the time in the car... (i am starting to rant)
So only yesterday, I opened my daughter's school library bag and found a book with Elsa and Anna on it! my first reaction (out loud too), "why did you bring a frozen book?, we know the story!!! you could have picked something else, something more meaningful" and she said, "but I wanted to read Elsa Anna story so I got this one"
Reluctantly I opened the book and started to read, "When you and I were little, we were close as we could be. I was happy you were Anna, you were thrilled that I was me."
And we had a chat about rhyme, picked be and me, brought in other worlds like jack and mack
then we read on and the book talked about the story of Elsa and Anna, yet again from a fresh perspective. It talked about how Elsa and Anna were different, one calculated another wearing her heart on her sleeve, one organised another clumsy and how in their difference they both hoped to have a sister that was more like themselves. Life would have been so much easier for them if they were alike... but then they recognised all the ways they complimented each other because of their differences, something they were only able to see when they both acknowledged the love they had for each other.
I was blown away towards the end of it... i was sold to the narrative once again despite the capitalistic reality of the frozen brand. Or perhaps I was blown away more because of that. I am scared of the power Frozen brand has on my daughter who often wants to buy all things Elsa, but in its shadow I marvel at the power Elsa and more importantly Anna can have on forming her person. Feminism and rethinking truelove undertones evidently and elaborately discussed but about difference? what of accepting the other, such a wonderful narrative to discuss the idea of difference as a point of dissatisfaction, conflict but yet a point of complementarity once you acknowledge the other with love... is it a lesson in relationship management? multiculturism? accepting contradiction within oneself? battle of heart and mind? helping kids make sense of why their folks argue and then make up? helping her see Anna's magic was greater for her magic was to come forward and accept vulnerability and continue to show love?
I dont know how many of these ideas I will be able to touch... but I do promise myself that for the next whole week, this book is rented from school in her name, we are reading it everyday. And talking about it everyday!
I continue to fear brand frozen, but I shouldnt let its story go... its normal for her to love Elsa and Anna for everyone loves them and maybe in the process of acknowledging that love she will aspire to be open to many ideas of a more balanced society they have to offer....
The book itself "A sister more like me" by Barbara Jean Hicks
Normally I behave well within the normality curve..., I enjoy her watching cartoons like Tom and Jerry without raising eyebrows about the violence within, Doremon despite its possibility of ruining her chances at awesome spoken Urdu and premature understanding of boy-girl relationship dynamics. I spoil her with a sugar treat pretty much everyday, still feed her with my hands and let her have a tablet... I am guilty of doing pretty much everything listed in the new guide to bad parenting for kids with super potential!
But frozen strikes a different chord. Its so out there, its so commercial that everytime my daughter picks something with Elsa or Anna on it I just cant help but shake my head at the power of market economy in influencing my 5 year old's choices in life. Everyone has Elsa shoes, and Anna dress and a pencil with frozen characters and a nightdress with Olaf and this and that and having to listen to "let it go all" the time in the car... (i am starting to rant)
So only yesterday, I opened my daughter's school library bag and found a book with Elsa and Anna on it! my first reaction (out loud too), "why did you bring a frozen book?, we know the story!!! you could have picked something else, something more meaningful" and she said, "but I wanted to read Elsa Anna story so I got this one"
Reluctantly I opened the book and started to read, "When you and I were little, we were close as we could be. I was happy you were Anna, you were thrilled that I was me."
And we had a chat about rhyme, picked be and me, brought in other worlds like jack and mack
then we read on and the book talked about the story of Elsa and Anna, yet again from a fresh perspective. It talked about how Elsa and Anna were different, one calculated another wearing her heart on her sleeve, one organised another clumsy and how in their difference they both hoped to have a sister that was more like themselves. Life would have been so much easier for them if they were alike... but then they recognised all the ways they complimented each other because of their differences, something they were only able to see when they both acknowledged the love they had for each other.
I was blown away towards the end of it... i was sold to the narrative once again despite the capitalistic reality of the frozen brand. Or perhaps I was blown away more because of that. I am scared of the power Frozen brand has on my daughter who often wants to buy all things Elsa, but in its shadow I marvel at the power Elsa and more importantly Anna can have on forming her person. Feminism and rethinking truelove undertones evidently and elaborately discussed but about difference? what of accepting the other, such a wonderful narrative to discuss the idea of difference as a point of dissatisfaction, conflict but yet a point of complementarity once you acknowledge the other with love... is it a lesson in relationship management? multiculturism? accepting contradiction within oneself? battle of heart and mind? helping kids make sense of why their folks argue and then make up? helping her see Anna's magic was greater for her magic was to come forward and accept vulnerability and continue to show love?
I dont know how many of these ideas I will be able to touch... but I do promise myself that for the next whole week, this book is rented from school in her name, we are reading it everyday. And talking about it everyday!
I continue to fear brand frozen, but I shouldnt let its story go... its normal for her to love Elsa and Anna for everyone loves them and maybe in the process of acknowledging that love she will aspire to be open to many ideas of a more balanced society they have to offer....
The book itself "A sister more like me" by Barbara Jean Hicks
Wao nice written Nadia :) I do remember we all friends at young age were crazy to collect photos of actors and actoresses while competing each other. Indeed I remember the happiness which I feel on finding any unique photo ufff ... and then showing my collection to others... but that happiness still I feel in me ( a unique picture of "bhagyasiri" so called sister of sridevi) lolz. Parents at that time were like its waste but was it ?
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